Monday, August 24, 2009

Sunday, August 23, 2009

By Special Non-Request!

Why does no one serve Sam Adams around here?

Super awesome and talented grrrrl + friends musicians!

http://www.myspace.com/maureentambourine

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Feed Me, Seymour!

The moment of clarity formed during a geeked-out conversation with my friend about the similarities between Star Wars predators and their real life counterparts. The chat morphed into a battle of YouTube links featuring predator bugs and plants, and then suddenly, I had an epiphany!

Regarding my great battle with the bugs, I have made a very important tactical decision! Instead of filling my house and lungs with bad aerosols and possibly the dreaded CFC Monster, I will instead fill the house with CARNIVOROUS PLANTS. They will provide me with more oxygen and the bugs with more death. And best of all, I don't have to extend any extra energy; the Audrey IIs will do all the work for me! It's win-freakin'-win, baby!





Saturday, August 15, 2009

The Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything?

I hate Sears. The stores are terrible and the credit card faction is even worse. I signed up for a Sears card a few years ago simply because I didn't have a real credit card and my friend who was an employee at the time convinced me to get one. I have not used it in probably a year, but recently, I had no choice but to use the Sears card for a purchase.

Recently, due to me having a malfunctioning computer, I accidentally made my payment 42 minutes later than the cutoff time. I attempted to resolve this through the customer service line, but apparently no real humans work at Sears, so the plan is to just give you the run around on the voice navigation system until you either commit suicide, or they disconnect you. I have sent the first e-mail communication to them; I plan to exponentially increase the level of animosity per e-mail until they yield to me, or I pay off my balance and cancel the damn thing:

"Hello. I have been a Sears card user for several years, and have never had a problem until now. I have always made my online payments exactly on time and never usually carried a balance at all until now.

Recently, I made my credit card payment, but unfortunately, due to computer issues I've been having in the last few weeks, my payment was sent exactly 42 minutes late.

Now I have a forty dollar late fee, which is four times the amount that was even due to begin with. I frankly find this outrageous, considering it was less than an hour late, and well before 5PM in the time zone your main credit card office is stationed.

Alas, I know that the computer is programmed a certain way, so I am asking you to please strike this from my account as I have always been an excellent customer and would hate for this to mar both my credit and my relationship with the Sears company.

I did attempt to resolve this over the phone, but can't seem to make any headway traversing the labyrinthine voice navigation system to talk to a human.

Thank you,
[name and account number]"

Sears makes me want to SCREAM!!!!!!!


*EDIT*:

Wow....they actually responded in like ten minutes saying they would credit it back as an act of good will.....I'm actually insanely impressed...

Friday, August 7, 2009

Ask Dad - He Knows!

These are both total sacrilege, but too funny.